Tales of abnormalities
by SumerBreeze
Summary: Human AU. Prowl watched in amazement and fear as the falling object took the form of a human.
1. Falling of stairwells' my specialty

[Bakemonogatari – Human] AU

Summary: Prowl watched in amazement and fear as the falling object took the form of a human.

Prologue

Chapter 1: Falling of stairwells' my specialty

Chapter summay: The only thing Prowl was sure that day, was that the weight of the girl laying on his arms was _definitely _off.

Warnings: Gender flipped/bended – whatsoever – characters [Jazz, Bluestreak]

Characters: Prowl; Jazz; Bluestreak ( mentioned )

A/N: I've recently fell into a Transformers phase, I've been watching all the movies when I can. After watching – trying to, to be more precise – Bakemonogatari I put two and two together and this was the result. I had two ideas, this one and another one and since I couldn't decide which one was better, 'cause I found a stapler wielding Bee adorable, I wrote both. This one makes more sense though. The other one will be written as probably a one or two-shot between breaks.

.

.

.

/Eh? Don't you know? Falling of stairwells' my specialty /

One thing Prowl simply didn't do, was arrive late at school. Today was not an exception, even if that meant dragging a half awake Bluestreak, that later while readjusting her ponytail made a raven haired teen's day when she was victim of a particular vicious sweep of the breeze. Prowl could only glare at the red eyed youth as he dragged his now _very _awake and embarrassed younger sister.

So yes, the day hadn't really started nicely to the young man.

He was the first one to arrive on his block of the school, no soul loitering around; at least that was what he thought.

A breeze running downwards alerted Prowl that something was falling. It didn't look small; perhaps a troublemaker had thrown a table over the stairwell? No, that was unlikely, none of them would have the trouble of waking up as early as Prowl did just to throw a table and watch it shatter once it hit the ground.

The object soon took the form of a human as it neared the gold eyed teenager's position.

Prowl panicked.

He wasn't one to do that often, but when his classmate – was 'it'? – death played over and over in his brain, he decided to intervene. Having your bones break in the impact and insides splattered across the floor didn't seem like a good way to die, that and it would be a hassle to the cleaning crew.

The teen with black hair felt the grip on his bag slip, yet he couldn't bring himself to care for what happened to his possessions, and broke into a run. He pushed his legs to their limit, golden eyes wild; there was still a significant distance between the front door and the center of the stairwell.

Prowl outstretched his arms, determination set on his face to catch the falling person. As the few meters that distanced Prowl's arms and the human projectile shortened to mere inches, blue eyes peeking over a misplaced visor stared into the golden eyed man.

The human 'projectile' was a rather petite woman, with stunning blue eyes and long silver hair, spread around her like a halo, her skin dark, lips pursed into a surprised expression.

The only thing Prowl was sure that day, was that the weight of the girl laying on his arms was _definitely _off.


	2. It's a war then

[Bakemonogatari – Human] AU

Summary: Prowl watched in amazement and fear as the falling object took the form of a human.

Chapter 2 : It's a war then.

Chapter summary: And Prowl came to the conclusion, that misunderstandings between them were hazardous for his heatlh.

Warnings: Gender flipped/bended – whatsoever – characters [Jazz, Bluestreak]

Characters: Prowl; Jazz; Bluestreak

A/N: Somebody should hit me. I've got a full week of holidays because of the Carnival. Ah, the props of living in Rio. Just to state that this derivates from the Bakemonogatari plot. Points to the person who guesses where did that phrase came from.

.

.

.

/ Misunderstandings are bad for my health /

Prowl pondered over the weird girl. He discovered that she was indeed his classmate, an old one at that. He now knew that she had been member of almost every fighting club — martial arts or not — and because of that the blue eyed girl was an excellent fighter. Other than that, Jazz – an indeed weird sounding name, however much fitting – was one of the most, if not the most, popular students.

Yet, even if she was rewarded with that social status, she never demonstrated a pounce of arrogance or a holier-than-thou behavior. However after middle school ended, Jazz became physically ill and later withdrew from most social gatherings.

She was indeed a mystery.

Yet even with all this information, it was better to hear a second opinion.

"Bluestreak?" He called. She didn't even twitch. "Bluestreak." He tried again, thought to no avail. Bluestreak had the fantastic habit of spacing out when she was bored; the 'Golden Week' could only provide much excitement.

He flicked her forehead, startling her out of her daydreaming. "Hey! What was that for!" She yelled in retort.

Prowl's lips twitched into a smile. "Welcome to the land of the living." He said, ignoring her question."

"Meanie." She started, pouting. "So, did you do that just for fun o are you going to say, ask – whatever — something?" Bluestreak asked, eyes twinkling with amusement and annoyance. Something seemed to be bothering Prowl, yet it looked like it was simply 'interest' on someone. Ah. How rare.

Her suspicions we're confirmed when her older brother asked her about what she thought of someone named Jazz. She wondered what had caused his sudden interest; the older girl was his classmate for a good set of years.

"Well, she's humble even with the whole thing of being one of the most liked and popular student of the whole school; but that was in middle school. Now, she has a fragile health and withdrew from social life." She answered, face set in an inquisitive expression. "I wonder why."

She seemed unsure of what say next, so Prowl being the good brother he was, nudged her with his foot. In response the bluenette kicked his shin.

"I think she's more beautiful now, with that fragile existence." Bluestreak stated. "Ah. Her name's kinda weird too."

Prowl snorted, he was behaving a little out of norm; maybe it had something to do with that Jazz, or simply because he was in her sister's presence.

"Says the one named Bluestreak." Prowl reminded the younger student.

"Rude."

The next half hour was spend in doing actual work for the Golden Week, a true miracle, even if Prowl _never_ refused tasks given to him on the school counterpart, that week was simply a hassle, too messy.

The sibling duo soon decided that it was enough and called it a day; when exiting Bluestreak announced that she would make a quick trip to the vending machine, leaving Prowl by himself.

The young man set his bag on the floor. He took the key that belonged to the room and insert in the keyhole, twisting it he was rewarded by a 'click' signaling the door had been locked.

Bending to grab the bag, Prowl caught a flash of silver from the corner of his eye. He didn't think much of it, but when the color made itself known again accompanied by a breeze he dodged it on instinct.

A sharp looking pair of scissors was lodged on the wall where is head once was. The golden eyed teenager whirled around to face his aggressor. It was no other than Jazz, hands gripping various school material.

"What was that for? Are you trying to kill me?!" Prowl suddenly yelled. He didn't know why, but the normally collected man simply did that; he was confused and very, _very _angry. He had saved her from a horrible death and yet, here she was trying to kill him!

Jazz unaware – or simply brushing off – Prowl's odd behavior; they didn't know each other after all, snorted. "No, man. Just tryin' tah maim ya or hurt ya fatally." She stated.

With one hand, she pulled her visor upwards, restraining her wild silver hair and uncovering her eyes. Those rich orbs had taken a lighter tone of blue, now threatening to turn white. Her lips were drawn into a wicked grin.

Jazz kept advancing; Prowl, trying to keep their distance, flattened his back against the wall. Hand still clutching the room situated behind him, franticly tried to open the door.

The silver haired girl tsked. "No-o, Prowlie. No runnin'." In a swift motion she covered the meters separating them and planted a stapler in Prowl's mouth. "Now Prowler, what should I do tah ya? Ya saw something ya shouldn't have seen." The now white eyed woman said. "Ughh, I can't say I expected a banana peel to be there," Groaned the petite young woman, pausing to readjust her grip on her weapon. "How unfortunate for you."

Prowl tried to answer her, but do to his fear of harming himself, all that was heard was incoherent sounds. Jazz yes brightened at this. "Oh! I'm so sorry; I didn't mean to neglect your left side!" That being side a box cutter was placed on the opposite side where the stapler was on Prowl's mouth.

"Prowl?" Bluestreak's voice called.

Upon hearing the taller woman's voice, Jazz let go of Prowl, but not before stapling his mouth right side. "Bye." She quickly said in farewell, adjusting her visor to once again cover her eyes.

It was an understatement to say Bluestreak was surprised when she saw her older brother on the floor, doubled over his knees while clutching his right cheek protectively. Yet he paid no need to her and broke into a run, in the direction the stairs were; leaving a confused Bluestreak on his wake.

"Jazz!" He yelled. "Wait!" The once collected young man kept running, occasionally calling out his offender's name. At the bottom of the stairs he found the silver haired girl, jerking to a stop he once again called out her name.

To Prowl's credit she seemed surprised at seeing the raven so soon.

Her hair was messy from having to run to avoid Bluestreak, the visor was tilted awkwardly and Prow presumed her eyes were still bright since he could still see them.

"What are ya doing here?" She hissed at him, eyes promising only pain to the teenager. He, however, didn't have the opportunity to answer; his lungs were greedily sucking air and didn't leave room for anything else. Unfortunately for Prowl, Jazz took the silence as hostile behavior.

"You're declaring war, is that it? Are you one of _his _lackeys?" She asked, her hands were now occupied with an stupid amount of school material, resembling shotguns.

"What? You're not making any sense! I just want to help, okay! I know what's wrong with you." Prowl was dumbfound. War? _He_?

Jazz laughed bitterly. "Really pretty boy, what do ya know?!"

The golden eyed man reached for the staple still lodged on cheek and ripped it carelessly. The wound quickly healed itself.

All the objects on the girl's hands fell to the ground. "W-What? How? You're a human!"

Prowl sighed. "It's just a recordation from the time I wasn't one."

Jazz mumbled lowly something to herself. All Prowl managed to hear was: "I'm not taking any _vacation_ next time." The crazed girl snatched one of his hands and dragged him to the exterior.

"Where are we going?" Asked wearily Prowl. A faint 'Somewhere' was his only answer.


End file.
